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I don't trust people who say, "It's just another day." No, it's not. There are only two possibilities when it comes to birthdays: either you've been mentally planning yours since three months ago, or you've been insisting you don't want anyone to make a big deal out of it while secretly hoping at least one person remembers without Facebook reminding them.
Birthdays are weird social experiments. Suddenly everyone expects you to answer thirty messages that all say some variation of "HBD!!!" while you're trying to enjoy your coffee. Then there's the annual interrogation. "So... how does it feel to be 27?" I don't know, Susan. I woke up, exactly the same person I was yesterday, except now I apparently have permission to order dessert before dinner.
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There are certain elements of birthdays that, if you stop for a minute and think of them, are so random and awkward. What do you mean I have to stand there like an awkward-looking Oompa Loompa while everybody sings happy birthday to me? Nobody knows what to do with their face while an entire room stares at you through an awkward rendition of "Happy Birthday." The best I can do is smile, clap along to my celebration for some reason, and pray nobody lights those candles that sparkle for four straight minutes. It's a performance nobody auditions for.
Of course, every birthday has its cast of characters. There's the friend who posts a photo of you from eight years ago looking absolutely unrecognizable. The relative who somehow comments on your Instagram instead of texting you. The coworker who asks how old you are loud enough for the whole office to hear. And the one person who apologizes for forgetting your birthday... while actively reminding you that they forgot.
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The older you get, the gifts become less exciting too. As a kid, birthdays meant toys. As an adult? Someone buys you a nice candle, a bottle of olive oil that claims to be "artisanal," or a gift card because nobody wants to guess what you actually like anymore. Honestly, I'm not complaining. Give me a cozy dinner, one really good slice of cake, and permission to ignore my phone for a few hours, and I'm having a fantastic birthday.
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